Category: Quotes

Quotes & Memes

Quotes October 23, 2019

Courtesy of theCHIVE

50% of marriage ending in divorce doesn’t sound that bad when you realize the other 50% end in death.

It’s easy to do permanent damage, when you’re temporarily upset.

Many animals probably need glasses, but nobody knows it.

A sheep’s super power? Turning grass into wool.

Having a pet is having a mutual understanding with another species that we will not eat each other unless absolutely necessary.

Sometimes being a known as a “good kid” growing up meant you weren’t very good at being a kid.

The Ninja Turtles probably smelled terrible.

Sex between a man and a woman usually involves the woman doing everything she can to orgasm while the man does everything he can to not orgasm.

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Wednesday, we all just have to trust that someone has kept count since the first one ever.

Adulthood is like losing your mom in the grocery store for the rest of your life.

Kids today will never know that unique smell of Blockbuster which was kinda like a mixture of candy and carpet.

If you sat on your own voodoo doll you wouldn’t be able to get up.

Sleep is the body’s best safety mechanism. It keeps you from screwing things up for 8 hours.

In 60 or so years, nursing homes are going to be filled with high end gaming PC’s.

If you live to be 70 years old you will spend 10 years of your life on Monday.

Whoever coined the phrase “Shit hitting the fan” must have had a terrible experience.

We weren’t given participation ribbons as kids because we couldn’t cope with our disappointment; we were given them because our parents couldn’t.

For the first 8 minutes of your life the sunlight around you is older than you are.

You have to pay additional rent for pets when toddlers are potentially just as if not even more destructive.

Surely by Jurassic Park 5 they have to know the park simply isn’t profitable.

If Apple ever made a car they would probably have oddly sized/shaped cup holders just so people would buy their custom drink containers.

When you’re in 1st Grade, 6th Graders looked like adults. Then when you’re in 7th Grade, seniors look like adults. Then you’re a senior and you realize you’re still a kid.

The worst moment ever is when you realize that you’re the one who was wrong in the middle of an argument.

We don’t know if Mrs. Incredible is naturally busty or if she just morphs her body to be that way.


Being a Millennial is like joining a game of Monopoly when every property already has a hotel on it.

If you can watch porn on your TV, in the living room, with the volume up, without worrying about getting seen or heard, your living situation is probably in the top percentile of the world.

Robots can do anything we set their mind to.

The first crime committed in year 2000 was very briefly The Crime of the Century.


When you’re high, you think everybody knows it although no one does, and when you’re drunk you think no one knows it although everybody does.

The most underappreciated part of being left handed is writing and using a computer mouse at the same time.

If we, as the Internet, collectively decided to replace every instance of “hacked” with “guessed their password”, maybe people would finally start taking their own security seriously.

Drinking from a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.


A couple of decades after we settle on another planet, there will be conspiracy theories of earth not existing…

It can take days, weeks, even years to decide you love someone but it takes two minutes to decide you love a dog.

At home it’s weird for two people to eat two different things for dinner but at a restaurant it’s weird to order the same thing.

Mushrooms have three settings: Poisonous, Tasty, and Magic.


Looking at the moon at night would feel completely different if the Apollo 11 crew couldn’t return home.

The history on your calculator is probably more embarrassing than your browser history.

The best types of people are the ones who tell you they’re listening, when the rest of the group seems to have stopped paying attention.

Car blinkers switching themselves off after you turn is a severely underrated quality of life feature.

Quotes October 22, 2019

Quotes courtesy of Lori Deschene/Tiny Buddha

“For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks; the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.”
Rainer Maria Rilke
“There is some kind of a sweet innocence in being human—in not having to be just happy or just sad- in the nature of being able to be both broken and whole, at the same time.”
C. JoyBell C.
“The only way we can change the way we feel is by becoming aware of our inner experience and learning to befriend what is going inside ourselves.”
Bessel A. van der Kolk
“You open your heart knowing there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible.”
Bob Marley
“Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.”
Henry David Thoreau
“My attitude has always been, if you fall flat on your face, at least you’re moving forward. All you have to do is get back up and try again.”
Richard Branson
“A healer does not heal you. A healer is someone who holds space for you while you awaken your inner healer, so that you may heal yourself.”
Maryam Hasnaa
“You don’t need strength to let go of something. What you really need is understanding.”
Guy Finley
“Love for the body motivates us to take care of our physical needs. In a family, love keeps its members together, so they can conduct the business of life and raise their children. For a group, love of a common cause keeps its members relating, so they can accomplish their tasks. Love of learning makes us buy books or go to school. It is love that keeps us in relationship.”
Anodea Judith, Wheels of Life
“A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because its trust is not on the branch, but in its own wings. Always believe in yourself.”
“Sometimes you don’t realize you’re actually drowning when you’re trying to be everyone else’s anchor.”

Quotes October 21, 2019

Courtesy of Gretchen Rubin

“A change in the weather is sufficient to create the world and ourselves anew.”
Marcel Proust, The Guermantes Way
“Perhaps it is the simplest and most popular truths which are also the deepest after all.”
Thomas Merton, Journal, November 20, 1952
“You don’t become a painter, you just discover one day that you are one.”
Yves Klein, quoted in Klein, by Hannah Weitemeier
“If one is out of touch with oneself, then one cannot touch others.”
Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift from the Sea
“I looked at the menu, then I looked at my wife. The one thing about her that I always loved was that she was never one of those people who thinks that someone else is the answer to their happiness. Me or anybody else. She’s always had her own built-in happiness.”
Bob Dylan, Chronicles: Volume One
“Humor is the antidote to overthinking. It’s a way of saying that life is paradoxical. Humor contains contradictions; it does not resolve them but revels in them. It says that the right way to exist among the contradictions, paradoxes, and absurdities of life is to cope with them through laughter.”
Bob Mankoff, How About Never: Is Never Good For You?
“Most men rather please than admire you; they seek less to be instructed, and even to be amused, than to be praised and applauded; the most delicate of pleasures is to please another person.”
Jean de La Bruyère, “Of Society and Conversation”, The Characters of Jean de La Bruyère
“The way in which people miss their opportunities is melancholy.”
Elizabeth von Arnim, The Solitary Summer
“Grownups! Everyone remembers them. How strange and even sad it is that we never become what they were: beings noble, infallible, and free. We never become them. One of the things we discover as we live is that we never become anything different from what we are. We are no less ourselves at forty than we were at four, and because of this we know grownups as Grownups only once in life: during our own childhood. We never meet them in our lives again, and we miss them always.”
Eizabeth Enright, Doublefields, “The Walnut Shell”



Quotes October 20, 2019

The key to success is to keep growing in all areas of life – mental, emotional, spiritual, as well as physical.
Julius Erving
Give without remembering and always receive without forgetting.
Brian Tracy
Stars can’t shine without darkness.
D.H. Sidebottom
A goal should scare you a little & excite you a lot.
Joe Vitale
Never speak from a place of hate, jealousy, anger or insecurity. Evaluate your words before you let them … Sometimes it’s best to be quiet.
Tony A. Gaskins Jr.
Give a damn.
Many damns.
More damns than anyone.
Be strong, you never know who you are inspiring.

Quotes October 19, 2019

Courtesy of Claudia Hall Christian Everyday Kindness

“Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.”
J.K. Rowling

“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.”
Roy T. Bennett
“Without tenderness, a man is uninteresting.” Marlene Dietrich | So be tender. Be interesting.
Every one around you is frail right now. Be kind.
You are not called to be right. That’s easy. You are called to be kind. Do what’s hard. Be kind.
Heroes are kind in the face of someone else’s rage. Be kind. Be a hero.
Reading kindness quotes won’t make you a kind person. Get out there. Be kind.
No matter where you are in the world, this is a time of transition. Whether it’s your government or simply the weather, everyone is under strain and pressure. Be kind.
This is a beautiful world. If you haven’t had a chance to get out into it recently, today is a great day to plan a breathing day. Be kind to you.
To do: Be kind to everyone in my life today, including me.
When you look at your life now, are you on a kind road? Or have anger, frustration, and bitterness landed you on a path you never intended to be on? Today’s a good day to make a course correction back to kindness.
Everything around you is in the midst of major change. How can you not be kind?

Quotes October 18, 2019

“We will modernize, we will remain the most lethal fighting force in the world. We will take care of each other as family. We will remain ready, and when called upon, we will win.”
Army Secretary Ryan D. McCarthy
Wisdom we know is the knowledge of good and evil — not the strength to choose between the two.
John Cheever,
”War is the greatest evil Satan has invented to corrupt our hearts and souls. We should honor our soldiers, but we should never honor war.”
Dean Hughes
”Word to the Nation: Guard zealously your right to serve in the Armed Forces, for without them, there will be no other rights to guard.”
John F. Kennedy
“No man is entitled to the blessings of freedom unless he be vigilant in its preservation.”
Gen. Douglas MacArthur

“Do me a favor, okay? Tell my parents that I fought well today. And tell them that I… that I… that I fought hard.”
Mark Bowden, Black Hawk Down: A Story of Modern War
“I wanted that future officer to weigh decisions with a supple mind and to be comfortable with nuance and uncertainty. ”
Craig M. Mullaney, The Unforgiving Minute: A Soldier’s Education

“Take your time.
Stay away from the easy going.
Never take the same way twice.

Gunny Arndt’s rules for successful reconnaissance; Guadalcanal 1942”
GYSGT Charles C. Arndt
“What you don’t know going in is that when you come out, you will be scarred for life. Whether you were in for a week, a month, or a year—even if you come home without a scratch—you are never, ever going to be the same.

When I went in, I was eighteen. I thought it was all glory and you win lots of medals. You think you’re going to be the guy. Then you find out the cost is very great. Especially when you don’t see the kids you were with when you went in. Living with it can be hell. It’s like the devil presides in you. I knew what I sighed up for, yes, and I would do it again. But the reality of war—words can’t begin to describe it.”
William Guarnere

Quotes October 17, 2019

Finish each day & be done with it. You have done what you could. Learn from it; tomorrow is a new day.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Close your eyes and imagine the best version of you possible. That’s who you really are, let go of any part of you that does not believe it.
C. Assaad
“He who jumps into the void owes no explanation to those who stand and watch.”
Swiss film director Jean-Luc Godard
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
Theodore Roosevelt

Quotes October 16, 2019

The world, unfortunately, rarely matches our hopes and consistently refuses to behave in a reasonable manner.
Stephen Jay Gould,
paleontologist, evolutionary biologist, writer
Ultimately, we can never change someone else’s behavior — we can only change our own.
Jennifer Lopez,
singer, performer, actress
National Hispanic Heritage Month is Sept. 15 to Oct. 15
I don’t want life to imitate art. I want life to be art.
Carrie Fisher,
actress, writer
Life begins where fear ends.
Don’t let someone else’s opinion of you become your reality.
Les Brown
If you’ll not settle for anything less than your best, you will be amazed at what you can accomplish in your lives.
Vince Lombardi

Quotes October 15, 2019

“Social media is training us to compare our lives instead of appreciating everything we are. No wonder why everyone is always depressed.”
Bill Murray
“Your journey has molded you for your greater good, and it was exactly what it needed to be. Don’t think you’ve lost time. There is no short-cutting to life. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now. And now is right on time.”
Asha Tyson
Lesson of Time: KARMA
When a bird is alive, it eats ants. When the bird is dead, Ants eat the bird. Time and circumstances can change at any time. Don’t devalue or hurt anyone in your life. You may be powerful today, but remember time is more powerful than you! One tree makes a million match sticks. Only one match stick needed to burn a million trees. So be good and do good cause you’ll never know what will happen.
Almost every successful person begins with two beliefs: the future can be better than the present, and I have the power to make it so.
There are a million different ways to say “I Love You”
“Put your seat belt on”
“Watch your step”
“Get some rest”
“Did you eat?”
You just have to listen.

Quotes October 14, 2019

Quotes courtesy of Lori Deschene/Tiny Buddha

“I know, things are getting tougher when I can’t get the top off the bottom of the barrel.”
Jesse Michaels
“It feels good to be accepted, loved, and approved of by others, but often the membership fee to belong to that club is far too high of a price to pay.”
Dennis Merritt Jones
“People are so caught up in their own negativity and losses that they give up on creating the future they want.”
Grant Cardone
“In today’s rush, we all think too much, seek too much, want too much and forget about the joy of just being.” Eckhart Tolle
“If the only thing people learned was not to be afraid of their experience, that alone would change the world.” Sidney Banks
“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”
Jon Kabat-Zinn
“Be yourself. Life is precious as it is. All the elements for your happiness are already here. There is no need to run, strive, search, or struggle. Just be.”
“Understanding is love’s other name. If you don’t understand you can’t love.”
Thich Nhat Hanh
“There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts.”
Richard Bach
“A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving.”
Lao Tzu
“It’s also helpful to realize that this very body that we have, that’s sitting right here right now…with its aches and its pleasures…is exactly what we need to be fully human, fully awake, fully alive.”
Pema Chodron
“Beautify your inner dialogue. Beautify your inner world with love light and compassion. Life will be beautiful.”
Amit Ray

“Absolute attention is an act of generosity.”
Simone Weil
“You are strong when you know your weaknesses. You are beautiful when you appreciate your flaws. You are wise when you learn from your mistakes.”