Category: Quotes

Quotes & Memes

Quotes October 20-21, 2016

Ron Chestna 89 years of age was  stopped by the Sheriff around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that  time of night.

Ron replied, “I’m on my way to a lecture  about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well  as smoking and staying out late.”

The officer  asked, “Really? Who’s giving that lecture at this time of night?”

Ron replied, “That would be my  wife.”




If something went wrong with your tracking program, the only method I would have to fix it is”—he raised a fist and mimed banging it against something—“ percussive maintenance accompanied by colorful cursing. Seldom works with delicate electronics.”
Carlyle Clark
Children From Dark Houses (An Atticus & Rosemary Mystery Thriller Book 1)




I’m most proud of the blessings that God has bestowed upon me, in my life. He’s given me the vision to truly see that you can fall down, but you can still get back up. Hopefully I’ll learn from my mistakes and have the opportunity to strengthen and improve the next thing I do.
Martin Lawrence




Surround yourself with good people. Whether they’re the best or not, people are capable of learning if they’ve got good hearts and they’re good souls.
Kid Rock




A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling.
Arthur Brisbane




The brighter you are, the more you have to learn.
Don Herold




It is utterly false and cruelly arbitrary to put all the play and learning into childhood, all the work into middle age, and all the regrets into old age.
Margaret Mead




Every song you’re trying to find something that going to connect in different ways but for me the songs that I’m really drawn to are inspirational, songs that lift you and that everybody can relate to no matter where you’re from.
Rodney Atkins




Never leave a friend behind. Friends are all we have to get us through this life–and they are the only things from this world that we could hope to see in the next.
Dean Koontz


“The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing, and face us with the reality of our powerlessness. That is a friend who cares.”
Henri Nouwen

True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable.
David Tyson Gentry

Quotes October 18, 2016




We must not say every mistake is a foolish one.

Character is higher than intellect. A great soul will be strong to live as well to think. Ralph Waldo Emerson

There are only two types of computers in the world: those that waste your precious time and those that waste your precious time faster.

Comedian Daniel Tosh is no fan of the expression “The worst day of fishing is better than the best day at work.”
“I’ve watched The Deadliest Catch on Discovery,” he said. “I’ve never once been at work, capsized in 40-degree water, watched all my coworkers die, and been like, ‘Hey, at least we’re fishin’.’”

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
George Carlin

You can measure distance by time. “How far away is it?” “Oh, about 20 minutes.” But it doesn’t work the other way. “When do you get off work?” “Around three miles.”
Jerry Seinfeld

You don’t pay taxes—they take taxes.
Chris Rock

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire PR execs.
Daniel J. Boorstin

Quotes October 17, 2016

A few buttons shy of a full remote.
D. Eilers

If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things.
Rene Descartes,
mathematician and philosopher

Be a good steward of your gifts. Protect your time. Feed your inner life. Avoid too much noise. Read good books, have good sentences in your ears. Be by yourself as often as you can. Walk. Take the phone off the hook. Work regular hours.
Jane Kenyon,

A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you, and were helped by you, will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble.
Charles Hadden Spurgeon

One man practicing sportsmanship is far better than a hundred teaching it.
Knute Rockne

Forget yesterday – it has already forgotten you. Don’t sweat tomorrow – you haven’t even met. Instead, open your eyes and your heart to a truly precious gift – today.
Steve Maraboli

Live today. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. Just today. Inhabit your moments. Don’t rent them out to tomorrow.
Jerry Spinelli

I don’t dwell on my age. It might limit what I can do. As long as I have my mind and health, it’s just a number.
Nola Ochs

Storms make trees take deeper roots.
Dolly Parton

The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts.
Marcus Aurelius

As you grow up, always tell the truth, do no harm to others, and don’t think you are the most important being on earth. Rich or poor, you then can look anyone in the eye and say, ‘I’m probably no better than you, but I’m certainly your equal.
Harper Lee

Quotes October 14, 2016

If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door.

What great energy, intelligence, and magnificent beautiful eyes… But enough about me, how are you doing?

What are they planting to grow the seedless watermelon?
Jerry Seinfeld

How come you never see a headline like “Psychic Wins Lottery”?
Jay Leno

Try an internship! Internships give you all the experience of a summer job without the hassle of a paycheck.
Stephen Colbert

I used to love the candy Nerds, but I stopped eating them when I realized that for me, it was basically cannibalism.
Rob O’Reilly

Give me a one-handed economist! All my economists say, “On the one hand …on the other.”
Harry Truman

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
Jeff Valdez

My dog was my soul mate; we both took naps, we both skipped lunch, we both hated the vacuum…
Elayne Boosler

Quotes October 13, 2016

Some people just have a way with words, and other people … oh … not have way.
Steve Martin

The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so.
Gore Vidal

I think I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. Part of it is just learning what makes me happier and doing more of it, and learning what makes me unhappier and doing less of it.
Mark Frauenfelder,
writer and illustrator

Hate to break it to you, Facebook, but the entire Internet is already a Dislike button.

Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little.
Edmund Burke,
statesman and orator

“A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there.”

Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute.

Nature abhors a vacuum, but not as much as a cat does.

We need a 12-step group for compulsive talkers. They could call it On Anon Anon.
Paula Poundstone

At what age do you think it’s appropriate to tell a highway it’s adopted?
Zach Galifianakis

Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it’s broken, but you can still see the crack in that Mother Fuc@@’s reflection.
Lady Gaga

A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.
Jay Leno

“99% of all problems can be solved by money — and for the other 1% there’s alcohol.”
Quentin R. Bufogle

What’s best way to build upper arm strength? Take lots of selfies.

“Generally speaking, I try not to generalize.”
Addison C. Arthur

Quotes October 12, 2016

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.
Maria Robinson,



Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life.
Sophia Loren,



Sometimes, the shortest path between two points is serpentine.
Christopher Benfey,
literary critic




When you fall, I will be there to catch you – With love, the floor.



Don’t worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.



If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front.



All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips.



The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep!


“So you’re a little weird? Work it! A little different? OWN it! Better to be a nerd than one of the herd!”
Mandy Hale




“Sometimes just being there is enough.”




It is an incalculable added pleasure to any one’s sum of happiness if he or she grows to know, even slightly and imperfectly, how to read and enjoy the wonder-book of nature.
Theodore Roosevelt,
26th US president




Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.
Isaac Asimov,
writer and biochemistry professor


Quotes October 11, 2016

Choosing Must is the greatest thing we can do with our lives
Elle Luna

“You can’t change what’s going on around you until you start changing what’s going on within you.”
Zig Ziglar

“One should always be on the trail of one’s own deepest nature.”
Henry David Thoreau

A career is built one paragraph at a time. … I don’t know any shortcuts. But if you’re really a writer, that’s no problem, because you’d rather be writing than anything else.
Barbara Kingsolver,

“When one loves, one does not calculate.”
St. Therese of Lisieux

Whether we live in poverty or prosperity, we can still live generously.
Dillon Burroughs

The human heart is the first home of democracy.
Terry Tempest Williams

Listen to the trees as they sway in the wind. Their leaves are telling secrets.
Vera Nazarian

“Imaginary evil is romantic and varied; real evil is gloomy, monotonous, barren, boring. Imaginary good is boring; real good is always new, marvelous, intoxicating.”
Simone Weil, Gravity and Grace

“Then he rustled his feathers, curved his slender neck, and cried joyfully, from the depths of his heart, ‘I never dreamed of such happiness as this, while I was an ugly duckling.”
Hans Christian Andersen, The Ugly Duckling

Quotes October 9 – 10, 2016

“There is no royal road to anything. One thing at a time, all things in succession. That which grows fast, withers as rapidly. That which grows slowly, endures.”
Josiah Gilbert Holland

“Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.”
William James

Nurture your mind with great thoughts. To believe in the heroic makes heroes.”
Benjamin Disraeli

“Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get.”
Ray Kroc

“You may find the worst enemy or best friend in yourself.”
English Proverb

“Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend’s success.”
Oscar Wilde

“How many slams in an old screen door? Depends how loud you shut it. How many slices in a bread? Depends how thin you cut it. How much good inside a day? Depends how good you live ’em. How much love inside a friend? Depends how much you give ’em.”
Shel Silverstein

“One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.”
Clifton Fadiman

“In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Quotes October 8, 2016

The one thing we can never get enough of is love. And the one thing we never give enough is love.
Henry Miller

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.
Prince Philip

Poetry is the art of creating imaginary gardens with real toads.
Marianne Moore

Nothing is as obnoxious as other people’s luck.
F. Scott Fitzgerald

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
Phyllis Diller

I sit on a man’s back, choking him and making him carry me, and yet assure myself and others that I am very sorry for him and wish to ease his lot by all possible means—except by getting off his back.
Leo Tolstoy

Quotes October 7, 2016

“The child is in me still and sometimes not so still.”
Mr. Rogers

Take wrong turns. Talk to strangers. Open unmarked doors. And if you see a group of people in a field, go find out what they are doing. Do things without always knowing how they’ll turn out.
Randall Munroe, xkcd: volume 0

Life is beautiful, as long as it consumes you. When it is rushing through you, destroying you, life is gorgeous, glorious. It’s when you burn a slow fire and save fuel, that life’s not worth having.
D. H. Lawrence

If you try, you risk failure. If you don’t, you ensure it.

Let life be an adventure. Live your life to the fullest, unfettered by fear of the ghosts and goblins of what might occur. Calamity and death happen as well to those who hide from life as to those who squeeze every drop of zest from it.
Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you do what you need, you’re surviving. If you do what you want, you’re living.