Quotes October 26, 2022

Courtesy of Henrik Edberg The Positivity Blog


“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.”
“If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.”
Steven Wright
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.”
Oscar Wilde
“I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.”
Rodney Dangerfield
“Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.”

Abraham Lincoln
“You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself.”

Ethel Barrymore
“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”
Albert Einstein
“You can always tell when a man’s well informed. His views are pretty much like your own.”

H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
“Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?”

Jay Leno
“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”

Winston Churchill
“Never miss a good chance to shut up.”

Will Rogers
“If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.”

Ann Landers
“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.”

George Carlin
“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”
Erma Bombeck
“I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.”

Zach Galifianakis
“The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream.”
Bill Murray