Quotes August 08, 2019

Courtesy of A Joke A Day


I came to the realization that my 5 year old was watching too much reality TV when we attended a wedding.

As the four bridesmaids walked down the aisle to the altar, he asked, “Is this where the groom picks the one he wants to marry?”

There was a pretty Nurse named Carol who broke her engagement to a doctor. She was explaining everything to a friend.

“Do you mean to say,” exclaimed Cindy, “that the bum asked you to give back the ring AND all his presents?”

“Not only that,” said Carol, “he sent me a bill for 37 visits!”
“Retired Terp”

“Hey Susan, which one of these paddles should I take to the lake?”

“Either oar…”

A girl is doing a crossword puzzle…

“What’s a 7-letter word for ‘easily perceived or understood’ that starts with ‘O’?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“It should be, but I can’t figure it out. That’s why I’m asking.”
Which is heavier: a litre of water or a litre of butane?

The water.

No matter how much you have, butane will always be a lighter fluid.
“Gegg Smith”
One of the oldest dances popular in D.C. has a new name: The Politician.

“All you have to do is take three steps forward, two steps backward, then side-step, side-step, and turn around.”
A Fact A Day:
The Four Chicken McNuggets

Did you know there are 4 different shapes for the McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets? Well now you do. The four shapes are… Ball… Bell… Bone… and Boot.