Quotes August 09, 2018

What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
 
 
 
 

Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.

 
 
 
 
Why do app developer’s have such high insurance rates?
They’re always crashing.

 
 
 
 
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.

 
 
 
 

Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.

 
 
 
 
Did you hear about the woman whose daughter adopted a baby?
Instagram.

 
 
 
 

How does a computer get drunk?
It takes screenshots.

 
 
 
 
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven’t had a gig yet.

 
 
 
 

Who is a computer’s favorite singer?
A Dell.
 
 
 
 
What’s the best way to learn about computers?
Bit by bit.

 
 
 
 
What is a computer’s favorite animal?
A RAM.

 
 
 
 

Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.

 
 
 
 
Why do people on Twitter tell me I’m always confused?
Because I don’t follow.

 
 
 
 
Why is everyone who works at the keyboard factory so rich?
They put in a lot of shifts.

 
 
 
 
Why doesn’t a computer’s car last very long?
They always have hard drives.

 
 
 
 
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn’t hack it.

 
 
 
 

What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!

 
 
 
 

Why are people afraid of computers?
They byte.

 
 
 
 
Where do naughty disk drives get sent?
Boot camp.
 
 
 
 

Why are spiders so good at the internet?
They know all the good web sites.
 
 
 
 
Why do programmers never run the AC?
They prefer to open windows.
 
 
 
 
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
 
 
 
 

Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
 
 
 
 
Why can’t an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
 
 
 
 

Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.