Quotes August 19, 2017

Courtesy of Unknown and Anonymous:
If you press the elevator button three times it goes into hurry mode – really…
You were looking good from afar now you’re far from looking good
Oh, you hate your job! Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.
Mirrors cant talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.
I wish we were better strangers.
Is being stupid a profession or are you just gifted?
I never admit or deny anything it makes things more interesting.
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
I don’t believe in plastic surgery, but in your case – go ahead.

I am not young enough to know everything.
Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome
Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn’t have given you any worse advice.
“When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.”
I am not sarcastic. I am just intelligent beyond your understanding.