Quotes March 31, 2022

Doctor: You have a disease, but we can treat it.

Patient: What’s the Cure?

Doctor: It’s an 80s rock band fronted by Robert Smith, but let’s try to stay focused…
What’s the difference between a vegan and a computer programmer?

One is disgusted by a rack of lamb and the other is disgusted by a lack of RAM.
Gegg Smith
What’s the difference between Big Ben and Tic Tok?

One tells time, the other wastes time.
Bill Sauro
My daughter was doing her homework and asked me what I knew about Galileo.

I, proudly and confidently, told her that he was just a poor boy from a poor family.
People’s parents actually give them sage advice, like “Do what you love, and the money will follow” or “The early bird gets the worm.”

All I remember is, “Don’t fill up on bread.”
Sherlock Holmes was carrying a box of lemons and placed it on Watson’s table.

Watson: Where did you get all those lemons?

Holmes: A lemon tree, my dear Watson. A lemon tree.
Murphy: “What do you call leprechauns who collect aluminum cans, used newspapers, and plastic bottles?”

Liam: “What?”

Murphy: “Wee-cyclers!”
Ryan Faidley