Doctor: You have a disease, but we can treat it.
Patient: What’s the Cure?
Doctor: It’s an 80s rock band fronted by Robert Smith, but let’s try to stay focused…
What’s the difference between a vegan and a computer programmer?
One is disgusted by a rack of lamb and the other is disgusted by a lack of RAM.
What’s the difference between Big Ben and Tic Tok?
One tells time, the other wastes time.
My daughter was doing her homework and asked me what I knew about Galileo.
I, proudly and confidently, told her that he was just a poor boy from a poor family.
People’s parents actually give them sage advice, like “Do what you love, and the money will follow” or “The early bird gets the worm.”
All I remember is, “Don’t fill up on bread.”
Sherlock Holmes was carrying a box of lemons and placed it on Watson’s table.
Watson: Where did you get all those lemons?
Holmes: A lemon tree, my dear Watson. A lemon tree.
Murphy: “What do you call leprechauns who collect aluminum cans, used newspapers, and plastic bottles?”