Quotes November 13, 2017

Courtesy of the CHIVE
“Probiotic” sounds a lot better than “bacteria infested.”

The Cantina Bartender in Star Wars probably didn’t want the Droids in his bar because they take up space without buying alcohol.
When a tree or object is giving you shade, it is the only thing for 92 million miles between you and the sun?
Since most pop music has the lyrics and music written by someone else, most pop stars are just karaoke stars.
If you drive too fast past a park/school, you are an asshole; if you drive too slowly, you are a creep.
If you take a map of the world, and lay it on the ground, there’s a point on the map that is the point where the map is lying.~
The year 2021 will have a lot of “hindsight is 2020” jokes. (And if it doesn’t, it should).
If 666 is evil, is 25.8 the root of all evil?
Sci-fi stories used to be about how far humans could reach with technology, now they’re mostly about how low we can sink morally.
Stop calling them boneless chicken wings. They are chicken nuggets.
People wouldn’t stop a microwave with time left on the clock if there was a ‘don’t beep when finished’ option.
Back in the day (1700s for example) you may hear you favorite piece of music only twice during your whole life.
The speed of light is obnoxiously slow when you attempt to consider the size of The Universe.
If you see matrix backwards it’s about how Keanu Reeves leaves drugs to get a stable job in a company.
In the future, Google Earth will be able to offer entire views of the world as it was hundreds of years ago.
Watching someone switch from laughter to crying is sad. Watching someone switch from crying to laughter is terrifying.
Aquaman is pretty underrated considering he protects 70% of the Earth’s surface.
Whenever a person holds the record for oldest person still currently alive, it is assured they will hold that record the rest of their life.
One of the weirdest parts of getting into your 30’s is thinking back to childhood memories, and realizing that your parents were younger than you are now in most of them.
What if we live in a simulation and morning fog is just blocking what hasn’t loaded yet.

Technically it was Moses that had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.