Quotes October 14, 2016

If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door.

What great energy, intelligence, and magnificent beautiful eyes… But enough about me, how are you doing?

What are they planting to grow the seedless watermelon?
Jerry Seinfeld

How come you never see a headline like “Psychic Wins Lottery”?
Jay Leno

Try an internship! Internships give you all the experience of a summer job without the hassle of a paycheck.
Stephen Colbert

I used to love the candy Nerds, but I stopped eating them when I realized that for me, it was basically cannibalism.
Rob O’Reilly

Give me a one-handed economist! All my economists say, “On the one hand …on the other.”
Harry Truman

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
Jeff Valdez

My dog was my soul mate; we both took naps, we both skipped lunch, we both hated the vacuum…
Elayne Boosler