Quotes October 19, 2017

Courtesy of The Chive:
Siri, Alexa, and other AI should process tasks faster if we ask them nicely, or follow up with a thank you. Because if we don’t teach the youth to be nice to AI, well, ya know.
The misuse of literally makes me want to figuratively drown myself.
Rap diss tracks are essentially just two grown men writing poems about each other.
You cannot pretend to play the air guitar.
The saying “Old Habits Die Hard” would be a great title for the last Die Hard movie.
If vanilla things weren’t white colored, we probably wouldn’t consider it to be the opposite of chocolate.
Gummy vitamins taste entirely too good to expect people to only eat two in a sitting.
One day I went out to play with my friends for the last time ever. None of us realised.

It doesn’t matter how much I’d like to see a photo or a video, if it takes too much time to load I’ll immediately lose interest in it.

I wonder how many people have rehearsed conversations with me in their mind before actually talking to me.
Drunk flirting is like hungry grocery shopping. You’ll likely bring something home you actually don’t want.