Quotes September 30, 2017

“How much does it cost,

To win your approval?

Will it be money well spent?”

CLARA MARIE MITCHELL, ‘Friendship’, Poems of Reflection: Faith, Life, and Travel

“If we’re in constant need for approval from other people, it could be a sign that the approval we receive internally simply isn’t enough.”
ERICA FLORENTINE, ‘8 Weird Signs of Low Self-Esteem & How To Change It’, Bustle, December 30, 2015
“Both money and approval are general means of exchange in social interaction, one in economic exchange and the other in social exchange.”
PETER A. BARONE, ‘Plausible Solutions to School Violence and Disturbance in America’, Critical Examinations of School Violence and Disturbance in K-12 Education
“The fallacy of approval is based on the idea that it’s not just desirable but vital to get the approval of virtually every person. People who accept this idea seek approval from others, even when they have to sacrifice their own principles and happiness to do so.”
RONALD B. ADLER and RUSSELL F. PROCTOR II, Looking Out, Looking In
“Trying to get other people’s approval is not going to boost up one’s self worth. One thing is that you will never get the approval from everyone. While you may get approval from some, others will be turned away. Most of the time trying too hard to get approval from others backfires.”
ED RUSSO, The Pleiadian Papers

“The affects were subtle at first, a warm feeling when someone liked or shared a column I wrote or commented on a status. The support from friends near and far when we are dealing with a crisis is also a positive way I have experienced affirmation and approval on social media.

But gradually, I discovered this need for approval that I just didn’t ‘like’ about myself. I started to recognize a nudging inside me. It’s kind of like the way my dogs tap my hand, with their wet noses, when they want food or attention. This nudging was coming from a need for approval of my work and a validation of my opinions.”
EILEEN BENTHAL, ‘The Human Craving for Approval, Played Out In Social Media’, Riverhead Local, November 16, 2014

“Humans share an innate drive to connect with others. We’re evolutionarily wired to crave inclusion. Eons ago, this was linked with our survival; in prehistoric times, rejection triggered fear. If someone became isolated or was ousted from the group, his or her life would be at risk.

Because the consequences of being rejected were so extreme, our brains and behavior adapted to avoid disapproval from others. In fact, research has shown that social rejection activates many of the same brain regions involved in physical pain, which helps explains why disapproval stings.”
MELODY WILDING, ‘4 Steps to Stop Seeking Approval from Others’, Psych Central, October 3, 2015

“When you are your own best friend, you don’t endlessly seek out relationships, friendships, and validation from the wrong sources because you realize that the only approval and validation you need is your own.”
MANDY HALE, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass
“Excessive need for approval is typically the result of an overly negative self-image.”
CAROLYN GREGOIRE, ‘This Is The Only Personality Type That Enjoys Being With Narcissists’, Huffington Post, March 14, 2016
“The fallacy of approval is irrational because it implies that others will respect and like you more if you go out of your way to please them. Often this simply isn’t true. Would you respect people who have compromised important values just to gain acceptance? Are you likely to think highly of people who repeatedly deny their own needs as a means of buying approval?”
RONALD B. ADLER and RUSSELL F. PROCTOR II, Looking Out, Looking In
“The truth is, many of us are looking for the approval of those closest to us on some level or another. And often this is disguised by the desire to have someone understand what we are talking about or going through, anything important to us about ourselves. I always thought I just wanted them to ‘get it.’ In reality, I wanted them to get it so that they would be okay with me.”
JADE MAZARIN, ‘Seeking to be Understood: The Need for Approval’, Psych Central, December 19, 2011

“We are forever looking outside ourselves, seeking approval and striving to impress others. But living to please others is a poor substitute for self-love, for no matter how family and friends may adore us, they can never satisfy our visceral need to love and honor ourselves.”
SUSAN L. TAYLOR, Lessons in Living

“He’s not a ‘pat on the back’ type of guy and I am driven by the need for approval. He’s a stingy dealer, and I’m a needy addict.”
KERRI K. MORRIS, ‘Resolution Chronicles: the best of 2015’, Chicago Now, January 1, 2016
“Somewhere in the middle of being driven by “what other people think”, the tension between the desire for approval and the fear of disapproval, are we missing what we really want?”
“Our need for social approval sticks more terribly and irreversibly to us than does a on a damaged Teflon-coated pan.”
RACHNA SINGH, ‘Love Yourself First’, Deccan Herald, February 21, 2016

Tacit approval is real approval; hypothetical approval is not.”
LEIF WENAR, Blood Oil: Tyrants, Violence, and the Rules that Run the World