Tag: Humorous

Images December 14, 2018














Quotes August 23, 2018

In the affairs of this world, poverty alone is without envy.
Giovanni Boccaccio,
I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, okay, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future.
Richard Jeni
If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
Erma Bombeck,

There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
Oscar Levant

Images July 23, 2018





Images July 07, 2018








Images May 09, 2018






Images April 21, 2018





Images March 28, 2018




Quotes December 29, 2017

Courtesy of Unknown

Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn
Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for
A nuclear war can ruin your whole day
“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, and a lot of bitching.”
“Artillery is the King of battle: the King cannot
swim, however, which is why we need you guys.”
(USMC arty specialist to a group of Navy officers in an Amphib
Warfare Indoc course.)

Phil are go: “You will drive 120 m.p.h. -legally”… BAH hah hahha! Oh man…

“You will drive 120 m.p.h. -legally”… BAH hah hahha! Oh man…

Friday Funnies June 23, 2017

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
-Phyllis Diller


Housework can’t kill you but why take a chance?
-Phyllis Diller


Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.
-Phyllis Diller


The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
-Phyllis Diller


Best way to get rid of kitchen odours: Eat out.
-Phyllis Diller


A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
-Phyllis Diller


I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
-Phyllis Diller


Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
-Phyllis Diller


Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
-Phyllis Diller


We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.
-Phyllis Diller


Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.
-Phyllis Diller


What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
-Phyllis Diller


The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
-Phyllis Diller


His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
-Phyllis Diller


Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
-Phyllis Diller


My photographs don’t do me justice – they just look like me.
-Phyllis Diller


I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
-Phyllis Diller


Tranquillizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle – keep away from children.
-Phyllis Diller


I asked the waiter, ‘Is this milk fresh?’ He said, ‘Lady, three hours ago it was grass.’
-Phyllis Diller


The reason the golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.
-Phyllis Diller


You know you’re old if they have discontinued your blood type.
-Phyllis Diller