If you’re going to be thinking, you may as well think big.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
“You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please ignore this notice.”
“It’s okay to look at the past and the future. Just don’t stare.”
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
“I have to be successful because I like expensive things.”
“Hating people is like burning down your own home to get rid of a rat.”
Harry Emerson Fosdick
I am blessed with a funny gene that makes me enjoy life.
“Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were gonna do anyway.“
Robert Downey Jr.
“Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.”
“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
“Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.”
“I figured something out. The future is unpredictable.”
“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.”
“You grow up the day you have your first real laugh – at yourself.”
“A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open.”
“Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.”
“Aspire to inspire before we expire.”
Eugene Bell Jr
“I was never really insane except upon occasions when my heart was touched.”
Edgar Allan Poe
“Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!”
“Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.”
Charles J. Sykes
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.”
“Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.”
“Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished – If you’re alive it isn’t.”
“We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don’t know.”
W. H. Auden
“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.”
“Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s more like a cha-cha.”
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
“It amazes me how much exercise and extra fires sound alike.”
“I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot. Sleep for a while. Wake up beautiful.”
“In m defense, I was left unsupervised.”
“Taking naps sounds so childish. I prefer to call them horizontal life pauses.”
I walk around like everything is fine. But deep down, inside my show, my sock is sliding off.”
“If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge?”
“I think my guardian angel drinks.”
“So it turns out that being an adult is really just Googling how to do stuff.”
“Don’t give up on your dreams. Keep sleeping!”
“I don’t think there will be enough coffee or middle fingers for this Monday.”
“It’s called Karma, and it’s pronounced, ‘Haha, f*** you ‘.”