I asked the librarian if they have the new book about Schrodinger’s cat and Pavlov’s dog having adventures. They said it rings a bell, but they don’t know if it’s there.
What’s the tallest building in town? The library. It has the most stories.
Not sure I believe that, seems like a tall tale.
Why did the cardiologist recommend that his patients go to the library? He heard they’re good for circulation.
I went to the library and asked the librarian where I could find books about conspiracy theories. She leaned over and whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
How do librarians flirt? They ask for your call number.
Sorry… what did you say? I checked out
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on cliffhangers. The librarian says,
I don’t have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?
Why did the librarian get fired? He was always checked out.
I went to the library asked for books about turtles.
Librarian: “Hardbacks?”
Me: “Yes, with little heads.”
How do libraries make sure novels stay warm? They give them book jackets.
I asked the librarian for books on comedy. She said, “That’s a funny question.”
What do librarians take to potlucks? Shhh kabobs.
I had a great library joke, but I had to return it.
What do librarians take fishing? Bookworms.
Librarians love a good joke—they always get the reference.
Why is a math book always unhappy? Because it always has a lot of problems.
I asked the librarian if he knew the author of a dinosaur book. He said, “Try Sarah Topps.”
Why can’t librarians finish mystery books? They keep reading between the lines.
The library banned drinks after someone poured milk on the serials.
I wanted to visit the world’s biggest library, but it was overbooked.
A blonde walks into a library and says in a loud voice, “I want a cheeseburger and fries, please.” The librarian leans forward and quietly tells the blonde, “This is a library, miss.” The blonde replies, “Oh sorry,” and whispers, “I want a cheeseburger and fries, please.”
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
What do librarians do after they retire? They get ready for a new chapter in their life.
Why did the ghost come back to the library every day? She went through her books too quickly.
I came here to find some good jokes about libraries, but I can’t find any, so I’ll see my shelf out.
Sorry for all of the library jokes. I’ll put them on hold.
