Quotes July 05, 2017

reddit Shower Thoughts

When driving in a School Zone, I spend more time checking my speedometer than checking if I’ve run over any kids.

Arguing with my wife is great, I get to sleep on the couch and stay up late playing video games.

I wonder if I have a remarkable talent for something, but have never tried that one thing.


There should be a Shazam for bird noises to identify the bird.

My iPhone needs to be on charge so often, it may as well be a landline.

Somebody had to pitch the slogan “Pizza pizza” to a room full of suits.

Bartenders in older movies are always obsessively polishing a glass and never stocking ice or beer.

Saying “F*ck it” actually motivates me more than “You can do this”.