Quotes October 09, 2017

Courtesy of Unknown and Anonymous at the Chive:
As a teenager in the 90s, inserting an unlabeled VHS tape into the VCR and pressing play was my generation’s “risky click.”
I don’t think I have ever picked up a pair of tongs without clicking them together a couple of times.
In Jurassic Park the goat came up to feed the T-Rex from underground. There had to have been a massive underground tunnel system everyone could have escaped through
We charge more for jobs using our brains than our muscles. But we look after our physical health much more carefully than our mental health.
If plants made gargling noises when being watered, a rainy day would be the most uncomfortable and awkward thing ever.
All the good skipping rocks are in the middle of the lake.
Sometimes, when I wake up, I am honestly impressed at the complexity and overall quality of the story I told myself in my dreams. I’m not nearly that creative when I’m awake.
When I’m in a place of high security, I focus so hard on not looking sketchy that I end up looking sketchy.
Cardboard boxes are pretty flimsy until you try to stuff them into the trash can.
The saying ‘Money can’t buy you happiness’ should be changed to ‘Money can’t prevent sadness’
The last ten tissues in a box should be a different color so you know to buy a new box.
I worry more about getting a ticket for speeding than the actual dangers of speeding.
In all reality, your floor is just the largest shelf in your house.