Courtesy of The Chive:
In the good old days you could look up a recipe without having to read a person’s life story first.
I wish I went to bed with the same level of tiredness I wake up with.
Suspending a kid from school is more of a punishment for the parent, than it is for the kid.
We live in a world where community service is a punishment.
Solar energy is just nuclear energy from a safe distance.
It’s weird people compare life to a roller coaster, because on a roller coaster, the downhill parts are the most fun.
If I accidentally download the same file twice, I’ll open the second download because it’s fresher.
I am responsible with my money so that I can afford to be irresponsible with my money.
The world seemed like a much better place around the time PokémonGo came out, I miss that.
If self-driving cars become a huge industry, ice cream trucks will be mobile vending machines.
Sometimes I think the greatest benefit to freedom of speech is that it gives terrible people an opportunity to expose themselves publicly.
