Tag: Joke Of The Day

Quotes January 04, 2020

Joke Of The Day

The homework assignment for my Spanish class was to write a paragraph. When I returned their papers, I asked one student if he had used Google Translate or any other online translator to write his paper.

He categorically denied doing so.

That led to my next question, “Then why is this in French?”

Submitted by Heaven
Bob: Last night I put my tooth under my pillow. This morning I found a dime there instead.

Joe: When I put mine under my pillow, I got a dollar.

Bob: WOW! You must have buck teeth!

Submitted by D-Gellybean
Two neighbors were talking about work, when one asked, “Say, why did the foreman fire you?”

Replied the second, “You know how a foreman is always standing around and watching others do the work? Well, my foreman got jealous. People started thinking I was the foreman.”

Submitted by HENNE
Shop assistant: How about this one?

Psychic: That shirt is too small.

Shop assistant: You didn’t even try it on?

Psychic: I’m a medium.

Officer: “Why should you be released early?”

Man: “I’m…”

Officer: “Go on…”

Man: “I think…”

Officer: “Yes?”

Man: “Can I please finish my sentence?”

Officer: “Sure, if that’s what you really want. Parole denied.”

Submitted by Gegg Smith
Me: “I think I have a crush on Beyoncé…”

Her: “Whatever floats your boat.”

Me: “No, that’s buoyancy.”

I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram…

I was like 0mg!

Submitted by Danny Jackson
What do you call the soft tissue between a shark’s teeth?

The slow swimmer.

Submitted by Chloe2015