Quotes October 31, 2017

 
 

Courtesy of Harold Reynolds
For Halloween, I will get a brain gelatine mold, fill it with grape Jello, and dedicate it to Prince. It’ll be a Purple Brain.
 
 
 
 
The Westin hotel chain has opened a new hotel for zombies just in time for Halloween: the Westin Peace.
 
 
 
 
In the US Deep South, do cannibals eat their soup with crackers?
 
 
 
 
Is the favourite vintage TV show of ghosts Hee-Haunt?
 
 
 
 
A Russian prison for the undead would be called a ghoulag.
 
 
 
 
If a railway engineer were to become a vampire, would he be called Count Trackula?
 
 
 
 
Rewatching the movie Halloween gives me a feeling of déjà boo.
 
 
 
 
Should you be worried if a zombie starts singing “Footloose”?
 
 
 
 
What was the witch’s favorite subject in school?
Spelling.
 
 
 
 
Why did the witches’ team lose the baseball game?
Their bats flew away.
 
 
 
 
What is as sharp as a vampire’s fang?
His other fang.
 
 
 
 
How did the Great Pumpkin fix the hole in his pants?
With a pumpkin patch.
 
 
 
 
Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?
Because if they were small and round and smooth they’d be M&Ms.
 
 
 
 
What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?
Count Duckula.
 
 
 
 
What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?
A wash and wear wolf.
 
 
 
 
What’s a haunted chicken?
A poultry-geist.
 
 
 
 
What do ghosts serve for dessert?
Ice Scream.
 
 
 
 
What monster flies his kite in a rain storm?
Benjamin Frankenstein.
 
 
 
 
Why don’t witches like to ride their brooms when they’re angry?
They’re afraid of flying off the handle.