Quotes October 31, 2017


Courtesy of Harold Reynolds
For Halloween, I will get a brain gelatine mold, fill it with grape Jello, and dedicate it to Prince. It’ll be a Purple Brain.
The Westin hotel chain has opened a new hotel for zombies just in time for Halloween: the Westin Peace.
In the US Deep South, do cannibals eat their soup with crackers?
Is the favourite vintage TV show of ghosts Hee-Haunt?
A Russian prison for the undead would be called a ghoulag.
If a railway engineer were to become a vampire, would he be called Count Trackula?
Rewatching the movie Halloween gives me a feeling of déjà boo.
Should you be worried if a zombie starts singing “Footloose”?
What was the witch’s favorite subject in school?
Why did the witches’ team lose the baseball game?
Their bats flew away.
What is as sharp as a vampire’s fang?
His other fang.
How did the Great Pumpkin fix the hole in his pants?
With a pumpkin patch.
Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?
Because if they were small and round and smooth they’d be M&Ms.
What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?
Count Duckula.
What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?
A wash and wear wolf.
What’s a haunted chicken?
A poultry-geist.
What do ghosts serve for dessert?
Ice Scream.
What monster flies his kite in a rain storm?
Benjamin Frankenstein.
Why don’t witches like to ride their brooms when they’re angry?
They’re afraid of flying off the handle.