Tag: Halloween

Quotes October 31, 2018

Every day is Halloween, isn’t it? For some of us.
Tim Burton
During the day, I don’t believe in ghosts. At night, I’m a little more open-minded.
When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam, may luck be yours on Halloween.
The moon has awoken with the sleep of the sun, the light has been broken; the spell has begun.
Midgard Morningstar
“I would like, if I may, to take you on a strange journey.”
The Criminologist, The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)
“We came, we saw, we kicked its ass.”
Dr. Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters (1984)
“Villainy wears many masks, none so dangerous as the mask of virtue.”
Ichabod Crane, Sleepy Hollow (1999)

“Do you believe in destiny? That even the powers of time can be altered for a single purpose? That the luckiest man who walks on this earth is the one who finds… true love?”
Dracula (1992)

Quotes October 24, 2018

What is a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument?

The trom-bone.
Why was the vampire interested in the New York Times?

He heard it had great circulation.
Why wouldn’t the skeleton go in the haunted house?

He had no guts.
Why did the ghost go to the bar?

To get some boos.
Why did the horseman from Sleepy Hollow go to business school?

He wanted to get a head in life.
Why are all mummies workaholics?

They’re afraid to unwind.
What do you say when you’re having dinner with a skeleton?

Bone appetit!
What happens when a ghost blows its nose?

He looks at the boo-gers.
Why won’t vampires prey on snowmen?

They’ll get frostbite.
Why don’t ghouls like lentils?

They prefer human beans.
Why was the skeleton lonely?

He had no body.
Why do vampires use mouthwash?

They have bat breath.
How do vampires sail?

On blood vessels.
Did you hear about the vampire who lost his home?

It was a grave problem.
How do skeleton’s travel in an emergency?

In a skele-copter.
Why do ghouls love to hang out with demons?

Because demons are a ghoul’s best friend.
Did you hear about the guy who was bitten by a vampire?

It was a pain in the neck.
Why don’t witches ride their brooms when they’re angry?

They don’t want to fly off the handle.
What do you call a skeleton who refuses to help you clean?

Lazy bones.
Who did Dracula take to the school dance?

His ghoul friend.
What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?

Boo boos.
Why are skeletons always so calm?

Nothing gets under their skin.
Why should you always trust a mummy with your secrets?

They can keep anything under wraps.
How did the great pumpkin fix his jeans?

With a pumpkin patch.
Why are skeleton’s so bad at church music?

They can’t play the organ.
Did you hear about the vampire who had to go to the doctor?

He was coffin.
What do you call a stupid skeleton?

A bonehead.
Why does every cemetery have a fence?

People are dying to get in.
What do skeleton’s drink their tea in?

Bone china.
Where do Russians send bad ghosts?

Do the ghoulag.
Why was the skeleton so into ceramics class?

He loved making skullptures.
Why are ghosts so happy when they’re in an elevator?

It lifts their spirits.
What do skeleton’s use to text?

A Cell-bone.
Where do ghosts go on vacation?

What did the ghost bring his ghost girlfriend?

A booquet.
Why couldn’t the skeleton watch horror movies?

He didn’t have the stomach.
Where did the mommy ghost take the baby ghost?

To the dayscare center.
What is zombie Shakespeare’s favorite play?

Romeo and Ghouliet.
What do you call a haunted chicken?

A poultry-geist.
Why do skeleton’s make such good comedians?

They have so many funny bones.
Why wasn’t there any food left at the Halloween party?

Everyone was goblin.
Did you hear about the skeleton who could always tell when it was going to rain?

He could feel it in his bones.
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?

What kind of wine do skeletons like?

Anything with a full body.
What should you eat at a baseball game on Halloween?

A frankenfurter.
What do little ghouls and boys study in algegra?

How does a member of a coven know what time it is?

They look at their witch-watch.
Who do skeleton’s learn about in history class?

Napoleon Bone-a-part.
What do vegan zombies eat?

What is the skeleton’s funniest bone?

Its humerus.
What did the skeleton bring to the potluck?

Spare ribs.

Quotes October 31, 2017


Courtesy of Harold Reynolds
For Halloween, I will get a brain gelatine mold, fill it with grape Jello, and dedicate it to Prince. It’ll be a Purple Brain.
The Westin hotel chain has opened a new hotel for zombies just in time for Halloween: the Westin Peace.
In the US Deep South, do cannibals eat their soup with crackers?
Is the favourite vintage TV show of ghosts Hee-Haunt?
A Russian prison for the undead would be called a ghoulag.
If a railway engineer were to become a vampire, would he be called Count Trackula?
Rewatching the movie Halloween gives me a feeling of déjà boo.
Should you be worried if a zombie starts singing “Footloose”?
What was the witch’s favorite subject in school?
Why did the witches’ team lose the baseball game?
Their bats flew away.
What is as sharp as a vampire’s fang?
His other fang.
How did the Great Pumpkin fix the hole in his pants?
With a pumpkin patch.
Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?
Because if they were small and round and smooth they’d be M&Ms.
What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?
Count Duckula.
What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?
A wash and wear wolf.
What’s a haunted chicken?
A poultry-geist.
What do ghosts serve for dessert?
Ice Scream.
What monster flies his kite in a rain storm?
Benjamin Frankenstein.
Why don’t witches like to ride their brooms when they’re angry?
They’re afraid of flying off the handle.

Images October 31, 2017







bluebird of bitterness: Halloween funnies

Halloween funnies | bluebird of bitterness

The Authors’ Billboard: Halloween by Mona Risk

Did you know that one quarter of all the candy sold annually in the U.S. is purchased for Halloween?  Yes, October is the cruelest month for our molar teeth. Today, Americans spend an estimated $6 billion annually on Halloween, making it the country’s second largest commercial holiday.   It is hard to imagine that 100 years ago, Halloween looked quite different from the candy debauch of today. Halloween origin: Halloween is thought to have originated with the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain, when people would light bonfires and wear costumes to ward off roaming ghosts. In the eighth century, Pope Gregory III designated November 1 as a time to honor all saints and martyrs; the holiday, All Saints’ Day, incorporated some of the traditions of Samhain. The evening before was known as All Hallows’ Eve and later Halloween.   History of Halloween: At the turn of the century, Halloween parties for both children and adults became the most common way to celebrate the day. Parties focused on games, foods of the season and festive costumes. Parents were encouraged by newspapers and community leaders to take anything “frightening” or “grotesque” out of Halloween celebrations. Because of these efforts, Halloween lost most of its superstitious Continue Reading →

Source: Halloween by Mona Risk – The Authors’ Billboard

Blog Profiles: Creepypasta Blogs

This is the mother of all Creepypasta sites. In high school, I would stay up until 3 am reading the best of on this site, and then feel like total garbage the next day because I was a) feeling like I was haunted, and b) totally and utterly exhausted. The plus side of this site is that it has a rating system and index, giving you the option to avoid anything that may be less than tolerable.

Source: Blog Profiles: Creepypasta Blogs | Beyond Bylines