Tag: Humor

Quotes July 31, 2019

“Luck is what you have left over after you give 100 percent.”
Langston Coleman
 
 
 
 
“Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.”
Kyle Chandler
 
 
 
 
“Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.”
Bill Vaughan
 
 
 
 
“The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.”
Bertrand Russell
 
 
 
 
“I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.”
Benjamin Franklin
 
 
 
 
“The key to success is not through achievement but through enthusiasm.”
Malcolm Forbes
 
 
 
 
“Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.”
Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach
 
 
 
 
“Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.”
Terry Pratchett
 
 
 
 
“I was never really insane except upon occasions when my heart was touched.”
Edgar Allan Poe
 
 
 
 
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go.”
Dr. Seuss

Images January 11, 2019


 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

Images December 18, 2018


 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

Quotes Military December 14, 2018

Never worry about the bullet with your name on it; instead, worry about shrapnel addressed to ‘occupant.’
Murphy’s Tenth Military Law
 
 
 
 
I was in our local VA hospital when a clerk began scolding a veteran who’d lit up a cigarette in a no-smoking area. “Sir!” she barked. “When did you start smoking?”

The conversation came to a halt when he replied, “In Vietnam, right after that first bomb dropped.”
 
 
 
 
After my niece returned from 
her second tour in Iraq, I remarked how beautiful her complexion looked. “What do you use on your face to keep it so smooth?” I asked.

“Nothing,” she said. “I’ve been sandblasted.”
 
 
 
 
Like any mother, I worried when my son joined the Marines. But later on, when I asked him how things were going, he put my mind at ease.

“Let me put it this way, Mom,” he said. “Living with you prepared me for boot camp.”
 
 
 
 
As a new paratrooper, I was struck by all the T-shirts on base emblazoned with the motto “Death from above!” Later I noticed a submariner with a T-shirt that declared “Death from below!”

Then, standing in line for chow one day, I was served by an Army cook. His T-shirt had a skull with a crossed fork and spoon underneath and yet another warning: “Death from within!”
 
 
 
 
The armed forces have a language all their own. Here’s our Military-to-English Dictionary:

Birth control glasses (BCGs): 
military-issued eyeglasses noted for their unappealing appearance.

Gone Elvis: missing in action.

Latrinegram: unfounded rumor.

Moo juice: milk.

Repeaters: beans and cabbage.

Self-loading cargo: passengers on a transport aircraft.

Stupid o’clock: ridiculously early in the morning.

Volun-told: an “optional” event that one is actually required to attend.

Quotes October 26, 2018

As a sergeant in a parachute regiment, I took part in several night-time exercises. Once, I was seated next to a lieutenant fresh from jump school.

He was quiet and looked a bit pale, so I struck up a conversation. “Scared, lieutenant?” I asked.

He replied, “No, just a bit apprehensive.”

I asked, “What’s the difference?”

He replied, “That means I’m scared, but with a university education.”

Images September 05, 2018

Images June 07, 2018

bluebird of bitterness – Cat takes down kid for ignoring it.

via Caturday funnies

Images September 17, 2016

rkaiser1

 

teenhelp

chilioutside

cyahunt

 

disagreelove

 

witchtoad

 

froggrin

freerangechiken

dinasaurstormdumbassdriver

bundydome

earthtogether

moonblessing

 

rainbowbird

 

 

 

Music September 14, 2016