Tag: Humor

Images January 11, 2019


 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

Images December 18, 2018


 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

Quotes Military December 14, 2018

Never worry about the bullet with your name on it; instead, worry about shrapnel addressed to ‘occupant.’
Murphy’s Tenth Military Law
 
 
 
 
I was in our local VA hospital when a clerk began scolding a veteran who’d lit up a cigarette in a no-smoking area. “Sir!” she barked. “When did you start smoking?”

The conversation came to a halt when he replied, “In Vietnam, right after that first bomb dropped.”
 
 
 
 
After my niece returned from 
her second tour in Iraq, I remarked how beautiful her complexion looked. “What do you use on your face to keep it so smooth?” I asked.

“Nothing,” she said. “I’ve been sandblasted.”
 
 
 
 
Like any mother, I worried when my son joined the Marines. But later on, when I asked him how things were going, he put my mind at ease.

“Let me put it this way, Mom,” he said. “Living with you prepared me for boot camp.”
 
 
 
 
As a new paratrooper, I was struck by all the T-shirts on base emblazoned with the motto “Death from above!” Later I noticed a submariner with a T-shirt that declared “Death from below!”

Then, standing in line for chow one day, I was served by an Army cook. His T-shirt had a skull with a crossed fork and spoon underneath and yet another warning: “Death from within!”
 
 
 
 
The armed forces have a language all their own. Here’s our Military-to-English Dictionary:

Birth control glasses (BCGs): 
military-issued eyeglasses noted for their unappealing appearance.

Gone Elvis: missing in action.

Latrinegram: unfounded rumor.

Moo juice: milk.

Repeaters: beans and cabbage.

Self-loading cargo: passengers on a transport aircraft.

Stupid o’clock: ridiculously early in the morning.

Volun-told: an “optional” event that one is actually required to attend.

Quotes October 26, 2018

As a sergeant in a parachute regiment, I took part in several night-time exercises. Once, I was seated next to a lieutenant fresh from jump school.

He was quiet and looked a bit pale, so I struck up a conversation. “Scared, lieutenant?” I asked.

He replied, “No, just a bit apprehensive.”

I asked, “What’s the difference?”

He replied, “That means I’m scared, but with a university education.”

Images September 05, 2018

Images June 07, 2018

bluebird of bitterness – Cat takes down kid for ignoring it.

via Caturday funnies

Images September 17, 2016

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Music September 14, 2016

Tesla Dad of the Year September 13, 2016